From Tiger Mother’s Battle to Immigrant Integration

Kathy Keyi Jia-Jones for Human Resources Professional Associations

Intrigued by the controversial book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, a memoir written by Yale professor Amy Chua, I watched her television interview with Joy Behar recently. Listening to Chua gave me a new perspective on the book and prompted me to jot down some thoughts. Though Chua is not an immigrant herself, her battle —a “hymn” or not – can also shed some light on the cultural aspect of immigrant integration.

“It is a memoir, not a parenting book”, the author declared at the beginning of the interview. Bombarded by Behar’s questions about her strict, long list of rules for her children– no play dates, no television, requiring an “A” in every subject except gym and drama, etc.—Chua sticks to her gun (or claws) as a Tiger Mother would do, ferociously defending herself.

Dismissing the American way of raising children as too lax, she demanded excellence and total obedience from her two daughters, believing the way her parents raised her was the only way. “I was raised by two extremely strict, but also extremely loving immigrant parents….their high expectations for me, coupled with love, were the greatest gift anyone’s ever given me—which is why I tried to do the same with my own two daughters.”
As a matter of fact, that was the only model she followed early on. She didn’t talk to other parents; it was a “closet practice”, she told Toronto Star (Christin Rushowy, Jan. 17, 2011). Though hard working, discipline, and education are generally valued and emphasized in the Chinese culture, Chua’s “closet practice” does not represent “Chinese way” of parenting. Highly driven and success obsessed, Chua took her parents’ model to an extreme at times.

Fortunately for Chua her children became high achievers even as teenagers, as she expected, so her approach saw success—so far. When her younger daughter rebelled, however, the Tiger Mom realized she had to change course or she would risk losing her daughter.

It was a “humbling” journey, she admitted, with quite a few regrets. She wished she “hadn’t been so harsh at times….paid more attention to the individual personalities of my daughters, I think that could of saved us much misery. That’s a great Western attribute. I think I would have given them a little bit more choice, a little bit more social leeway”(Toronto Star, Christin Rushowy, Jan. 17, 2011).

Despite much criticism the book and its author nevertheless have opened a meaningful dialogue about not only different parenting approaches but, more profoundly, about how to find a balance incorporating different cultural values. Amy Chua has taken a chance by putting herself out there and being brutally honest about her battle, her frustrations and confusion. “My book is, in some ways, about my decision to retreat from the tough immigrant model and about trying to find a balance between very permissive and very strict approaches….I don’t have any answers”, she told Toronto Star (Christin Rushowy, Jan. 17, 2011).

If a Yale law professor who was born, raised, and lived in America her entire life does not have answers, it is not hard to imagine the challenges faced by immigrants who start to build a new life in a foreign country. We leave our home countries behind, often ill prepared for a new culture. For example, everything I knew about Canada before I arrived twenty-two years ago was Dr. Northern Bethune and the Littlest Hobo. We all carry with us some kind of model, values and beliefs; in a long run, managing cultural differences is one of the biggest challenges for many immigrants. As more and more new immigrants and foreign trained talents are joining the Canadian workforce, organizations are facing one of the most important tasks–integration. It is a long process that requires joint efforts from family, the workplace, community, political leaders and policy makers as well as the individuals. At the workplace, human resource professionals are in a unique position to support the process. They can do this, in part, by helping immigrants make a smooth transition and by initiating and implementing long term strategies and practices.

Here are some practical approaches:

1. Recognizing the challenges of the transition for newcomers, and providing support and encouragement

2. Orientation: Information about company policy, safety and emergency procedures, performance expectations and job descriptions are essential.

3. Cultural awareness training Include key elements such as culture and perception, our own value awareness, sensitivity to other cultures, adaptation process, and how to manage cultural differences and conflicts

4. Social events to help newcomers get to know their colleagues

5. Mentoring system. A well-monitored mentoring system can go a long way.

Immigrants are a significant part of a fast growing labor market. Many are successful and making important contributions to the workplace and to Canadian society. Studies show integration works best when all parties concerned are engaged to work together. It takes a family to produce a tiger mother; it takes a “village” o foster immigrant integration. The village, in turn, will benefit.